I am Sorry MOM.(A short story)

As I got up today, I felt the smell of fresh coffee. I woke up to see a cup of coffee with some biscuits kept at my bedside table. This reminded me of home. The old school and college days, when mumma used to wake me up by serving a steaming cup of coffee. The aroma, the taste, so refreshing, still so fresh in my memories.

A sudden thought hit me, “I was in bed, so who prepared this coffee for me? Is it a dream?” I pinched myself and that hurts, which meant I was not dreaming. I walked out of the room with the cup of coffee, in search of my roommate. I asked him whether he prepared that for me, and the answer was YES.

I was relaxed but somehow my heart wanted him to say NO. A no because I wanted to be in a belief that my mom prepared it for me. The whole scene reminded me of mom, and I missed her at that moment. I got ready for the office and all set to leave.

On my way, I was thinking about those days, when mumma used to cook my every meal. All her possible ways by which she could stuff her son. I could not remember any single day when I slept without food. Maggi, chips, biscuits, all junk food was banned and I always cooked maggi when I was sure that mom was not around. But now, I no more enjoy cooking maggi for myself. Almost everyday I eat it, not because I like it, but because I am left with no other option at times.

This very thought brought tears to my eyes and I decided to call up mom. I reached office and gave mom a call. The first thing she asked was, “Is everything alright?”. I was speechless. And I thought, how the time has changed. When I was home with her, she used to nag me by calling after every hour when I was out with friends. In those days she never asked me what was wrong, as she knew that it was my habit even if I got home late and forgot to call. My call at this point of day to her, means that I am in trouble. Time has changed, she is still the same, its me who has changed. But I continued my conversation saying that I just called up to ask how she was, and how are things going on with her. And we continued our conversation. Then suddenly an ice-breaker came when she asked, “Don’t you have any work today?” I was shocked and asked her why she asked that, in reply to which she said, it was almost 30 minutes, I have been talking to her.

I hurriedly ended the conversation saying I have to attend a meeting. I lied to her and deep down I know, she knows that I lied to her but what else can I do? The lady with whom I used to have endless conversations, sleepless nights of gossips… has all ended. I am so occupied with my new life that I forgot to spend few hours with her.

I roll backed the time and thought of every single day that I have not spent with her. This made me realize that there was not a single day when I was busy, busy in a sense to neglect my mom. The lady who gave her whole life just for me, I could not even give her the time that she deserved. I remembered how I used to tell her about all my daily happenings and how I always failed to ask about her day. It left me all in tears. I missed her and missed her to core.

I was feeling ashamed, because it was a cup of coffee that made me realize her presence in my world.

We all are here, away from our family, living with our friends, who are our new family. We spend our lunch time with them gossiping about what’s going in and around, weekends, shopping with them and even festivals as most of us are staying too far from home. And when we call home, we are in a hurry to hang up as most of are BUSY. Are we really that busy?

Think of the lady whom we have left back at home. She still misses her son/daughter at the dining table, although most of us enjoy our meals with our friends and colleagues. She still waits all day just to hear her son/daughter’s voice at the end of the day and we, we spend our time on phone with friends or girlfriend/boyfriend.

Is it really that we don’t have time or is it just we are too busy with our new life?

Why people fall in love?

It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why some love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails. You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you will never do anymore that take the life out of the experience. Just as life itself is more than the sum of the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in the body, love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.

Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life - the gift of love will come to you in full flower. Take hold of it and celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. This is the dream we all share. More often, it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on.
When this happen to young people, they too often try to grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a gift that just as freely, moves away. When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on.

They want answers where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong in them that makes the other person no longer love them, or try to get their love to change, thinking that if some small things were different, love would bloom again. They blame their circumstances and say that if they go far away and start a new life, their love will grow.

They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery.

You need to know this about love, and accept it. You need to treat what it brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with
yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.

If you find yourself someone in love with you but you don't love him back, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage; do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with yourself. All our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and he falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it nor to assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can. There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this and keep it to your heart. Love has its time, its own season, its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You can
only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and
there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery. BE GLAD THAT IT CAME TO LIVE FOR A MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE.